


DPN. 001: Combat Woman

by MissJukeBox8



Category: RWBY, Rockman | Mega Man Classic
Genre: Crack, Crossover, EA is an evil corporation, I just do whatever I want with canon in this fic, Mass-Produced Penny AU, Not Canon Compliant, but you knew that already
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29205429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissJukeBox8/pseuds/MissJukeBox8
Summary: After Dr. Wily's latest plan to defeat Mega Man fails, he decides to enlist the help of one robot that is truly combat ready.
Kudos: 1





	DPN. 001: Combat Woman

“Oh blast it all!”

Once again, Bass found himself forced to listen to yet another one of Dr. Wily’s outbursts at failing to defeat Mega Man. The first few times he tried to calm him down, but at this point it’s happened so often that he just tries to tune him out.

“So your latest genius plan failed again, huh?” Bass asked, heavy rock music blasting in his headphones.

“Oh no, it went perfectly fine, Mega Man is dead and I’m the ruler of the world now! I’m very happy about this, can’t you see how happy I am?!” Wily exclaimed as he dramatically turned around to face his robot son, knocking over a bunch of Metools on the table in the process while breathing heavily.

Bass sighed. He’s seen his dad like this about five times at this point.

“The plan was perfect, I don’t get what went wrong...”

“So what did you do this time?”

“Well,” the scientist started, “I stole eight highly intelligent robot masters and reprogrammed them to do my bidding, and stationed them all across sections of the city that I filled with obstacles-”

“Did you make them all weak to each other’s weapons again?” Bass interrupted.

Wily was perplexed. “Umm... why yes of course! How did you know?”

“Because that’s what you do every time!” Bass jumped down from the top bunk of his bed. “Every time you try to take over the world, you do it exactly the same way! You always steal eight robots to wreak havoc on Monsteropolis, you always put them in little closed off rooms in the back of an obstacle course, you always inexplicably give them weaknesses to all your other robots powers, even when you should know by now that your greatest enemy knows how to copy those powers and use them against you! THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS, AND YET YOU NEVER LEARN!”

The roboticist was shocked at Bass’s outburst. “Well... sometimes I build the robots myself.”

“AND YET WE ALWAYS END UP HERE, BACK AT SQUARE ONE! TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR ONCE! MAYBE INSTEAD OF STEALING SOMEONE’S ROBOTS, I DUNNO MAYBE- BUY ONE?!”

Wily found the very idea preposterous. “And who else could possibly be evil enough to create a robot with the combat ability to match Mega Man?”

Suddenly, a commercial came on the television. “New from EA!”

“Are you lonely? Do you need a friend? Or a girlfriend? Or a bodyguard? An adorable bodyguard? Well we have just the thing that can potentially be all of those things at once! Introducing... Penny!” A red-headed robot girl appeared on screen.

“Salutations! My name is Penny! I’m one of many mass-produced highly intelligent gynoids designed by Dr. Polendina and licensed for production by Electronic Arts! I may look like a normal girl, but I am so much more! For the low price of one dollar, you can purchase me and I will do whatever you want me to, and be your best friend! And for just a few dollars extra, I can even fall in love! Or kill people with swords, whichever one you prefer! I’m combat ready after all! I hope we can become best friends!”

“Order now and we will give you your very own Penny with all of the add-ons for a low price of $100!”

It was at this moment that Dr. Wily got an idea. An awful idea. Dr. Wily got a wonderful awful idea.

“Bass!” he yelled. “Call that number immediately! I think that Penny might be exactly what we have been looking for!”

“Oh, 32 years and you’re finally using a girl robot for a second time? It’s about freaking time.” Bass was sure this was going to turn out horribly, but he reluctantly made the call anyway. This should at least be fun to watch.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is a story I originally posted to Tumblr a while ago, I figured since I'm gonna start writing Mega Man fanfics on here then I might as well post it here!  
> This is inspired by an AU that my friend "mars-the-4th-planet" made on tumblr where Penny is a mass-produced consumer product from EA.  
> If I continue this story, it's gonna get weird.


End file.
